My Journey - Part Two - Heart Opening

WIth Bhikkhunies in Songdhammakalyani Monastery,Nakhon Pathom, Thailand

My transformation was picking up pace and before I even noticed I was taken to another level. This time my journey within took me to Thailand, and more specifically to Buddhist Monastery for Women.

My dream was to go to India, so I started my research before planning my upcoming holidays. The change within me was already significant – I was planning to go farther away for holiday, instead of going back home! It was a big deal, as it was a Christmas time. I need to mention here my upbringing took place in a religious Catholic family – all Christmas always with family, following all religious rules and ceremonies to the dot.

And there I was, being rebellious and breaking all of the rules (in my own eyes), saying to my family – ‘I am not coming back for Christmas’. The decision was made, communicated and now I was free to book my dream trip to India. Well, at lest it was that what my mind wanted, but my destiny was different.

Somehow, I was unable to find and book anything for India for days! My colleagues hearing about my struggles, started to ‘sell’ me Thailand as a destination instead. They were even discouraging me from going to India. So just out of curiosity I googled Thailand, and straight away there it was - Songdhammakalyani Monastery.

Instantly I had the feeling I want to do that! I have contacted the temple, exchanged the information needed and there I was – good to go. All the other plans set smoothly, and I was ready to go for an adventurous month in Thailand.

It all just felt right and so simple to organise. It was my first time backpacking and traveling on my own further into Asian continent.

It was another big jump for me, from one foreign culture - of working in 100 % Muslim country, in Arab world, into another – culturally diverse Thailand, mostly stem from Buddhist principals.

The journey was taking me through different religions, believe systems and cultures build on their concepts. The lesson was a deep dive into living in the world of that specific culture, totally immersed into its world. It was real eye and heart opening time for me.

Living amongst Bhikkhunies – female monks - as a lay person, I was working and fulfilling everyday tasks the monastery life entailed. As a lay person I was obliged to fallow 5 precepts: not kill, not lie, no intoxicate, no sex, not stealing. I was dressed properly to my station, which meant I was wearing lay person’s white robes.

During my stay I was taught Zen meditation, taking part in all ceremonies and studding Buddhism in my own time.

At the beginning of my stay, I was overwhelmed by selfless acts of kindness and pure love everyone was emanating towards one another. The word ‘kindness’ gained another meaning for me when watching Bhikkhunis and other lay people behaviours. For example, during breakfast time one of the lay ladies cut fruit she had on her plate and put it on my plate, as there was not enough for everyone. I had to swallow tears of gratitude before I could say thank you. Another time, girl standing ahead of me in the queue for food, collected cutlery and handed it to me, before taking set for her. On different occasion one of the ladies took orange of my plate to peel it off for me. Most of them spoke only Thai, but the gestures spoke lauder then any words. It was natural behaviour there. Unconditional and shameless kindness.

Sometimes in western world, we are ashamed of being kind, but being mean comes so easily. I needed some time to adjust to such an open heartedness and loving approach towards one another.

It was a very interesting experience for catholic girl, who, despite all the principles of good Christian orated every Sunday, for many years, has never experienced such a behaviour. That was really breaking me open and re-evaluating all I grown up with, however I had no idea what changes it all was triggering within me in that moment.

Another interesting thing was sharing my catholic knowledge and our principles with Bhikkhunis.They were asking me about Jesus and his story. It was the first time in my life I had the opportunity to explain to someone, religion I was brought up with. Answering their questions and hearing myself talking about it, was another big experience. As a catholic child you are meant to listen, learn, follow, and obey. Here, someone was asking me to share my knowledge. Even thou I was a young adult then, for my family I was just a child, and religion was something we follow, not discuss. So many rules and believes were being deconstructed in my mind. But again – I was still oblivious to the process.

My focus was on all new I was learning and experiencing, and unknowingly letting go of old constrains and programming I was under.

Interestingly after leaving monastery, I met Thai people who turned away from Buddhism towards Catholicism. Life yet again, was showing me another point of view and proving to me, how important it is to stay open hearted, independently of any principles one chooses to follow.

The amazing experienced of Buddhist Monastery left me turning vegetarian, becoming practitioner of Zen meditation, being more open-minded that ever and setting me on the course to self-discovery I have never heard about before.

As some of you may know Buddhism is about extinction of Suffering (Dukkha) through practice of Dhamma – mindfulness of mind. I had no idea about that, when I decided to go to Thailand, but one of the main reasons I wanted to stay away from home during Christmas, was suffering. Grief process I was going through. The thought of spending time back home and facing again the fact of loss and re-living the suffering, me and my family experienced, was just to much for me.

Instead, completely unconsciously I chose to go somewhere, where I was about to learn the meaning of suffering in our existence.

As I am writing those words, it is just so obvious that my story of going to Thailand is nothing less than a prof of the lesson of how going through suffering leads to happiness. Contrary to our believes, that we need to avoid suffering to be happy.

The stay in the monastery was only one part of my Thai adventure. My next step was my first ever yoga retreat. What happened there is a subject for another story, but it was just magical continuation of the process started amongst the Bhikkhunis.

Light and Love,

The Path